


Ben X(COM: Enemy Unkown)

by BroomEater2001



Category: Ben 10 Series, XCOM (Video Games) & Related Fandoms
Genre: Diabetes, Gen, Ketamine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27351823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BroomEater2001/pseuds/BroomEater2001
Summary: ~~~~oooOOoooOOOOOOOooooo~~~ooooooo~~~~ 🎸🎸🎸🎸🎵It started when a government organization became instituted🎵To search for alien activity to secretly vanquish🎵And now the Commander's got to go look for alien cryptids🎵Like Ben 10 (Ben 10) (Ben 10)
Relationships: Ben Tennyson & Gwen Tennyson
Comments: 3





	Ben X(COM: Enemy Unkown)

“Commander, we have been monitoring for alien activity more heavily around the United States, due to the recently revealed unidentified meteoric object which as you are well aware landed in an unknown location within the united states, since then we have noticed numerous new alien sightings reported, and the information we have gathered is, of great interest. We at the council leave you to use this information as you will, commander.”

I sit or stand in my quarters as I behold his deep vocal cords given to him through what I can only conjecture to be unethical larynx surgery. I do not respond, for as the commander, my purpose is not to respond to information with my voice, but with my actions, which I quickly take in the manner of sending a carrier jet to the newly located still active alien sighting.

My eyes are flushed with whiteness as I am being asked to select the troops for such a mission.

“Ugh, grandpa Maaaaaaax, tell Ben to get off of my side of the van!!!!!”

“Listen to your cousin Ben.”

“But grandpa Maaaaaaaax, Gwen has more square inches of space than meeeee!!!!’

“Shut up Ben you stupid twerp couldn’t measure a square inch if it was the size of your ego!”

“Don’t call your cousin a twerp Gwen.”

“Hah! Hear that Gwen, you really *are* what you eat! Dumb-eater!”

“No fair grandpa, Ben can just turn into his small guy if he wants to have more relative space!!!”

“You can just turn into a buttmouth if you want your words to be less stinky!!!”

“Quiet you two we’re at a road stop.”

SGT. SCOLIE OSIS

‘Dead Hand’

Sniper

LT. DIAL LYSIS

‘Red Curtain’

Sniper

Shit. MAJ. THROMB OSIS is in sickbay, shit, it’s a miracle that her sister is keeping things together, I guess I’ll just have to send some rookies. Fuck, it’s gonna be like, a week until the laser rifles are fabricated, this is a real pain in the ass. Well, it’s no skin off my scrote, it’s just blood out of theirs.

RK. NEURO PATHY

RK. PRURI TICRASH

RK. BUBO NICPLAGUE

Deploy.

“Yeeeeep this is a traffic stop can I see your driver’s license.”

“’Course.”

“Right, and so how many to declare?’

“Two children, and myself.”

A green light flashes form within the RV, the kind you might see if you were looking up top ten videos titled “Top Ten ways to acquire a seizure!!”

“Good lord what is happening in there!”

Max turns his head, and then unturns his head and looks at the traffic agent. In the eyes.

“Uhh, Aurora Borealis?”

“Right right of course of course my apologies. Welllllll, you’re free to carry on but I think I should warn you, there’s been some awful reports of certain You-eff-oh’s if you know what I mean…”

“Oh I’m sure they’re just rumors.”

“NO really, my second cousin twice removed told me he saw military personnel personally get helicarriered down to the outskirts of town to investigate.”

Max cocks an eyebrow.

“We’ll be cautious don’t you worry. Have a nice day officer.”

“Y’all too.”

The Rust bucket drives off, the smog coming from it’s engines being inhaled by the traffic officer. This methane will have a significant impact on the metastasizing of the officer’s cancer through their entire body.

“This mission will be your basic recon and report situation, however we’ve been hearing copious reports of alien activity in the area, so stay alert. Additionally- “

God when will this guy shut the fuck up, I’m losing it over here, in my seat within which I may or may not be sitting in. I’ve been waiting a significant volume of hours for the helicarrier to load and unload the chosen few into what will no doubt be a routine boring and not interesting level I mean mission.

“-there’s been reports of- “

God fucking dammit fuck this I’m leaving the monitor, I’m getting out of my chair or I was already not in the chair, and I’m leaving this military zoom meeting until we fucking get out into the goddamn field already Jesus fuck. I’m gonna go make some coffee.

Max enters his RV’s quarters as soon as he’s out of the traffic officer’s sight, the traffic officer who, it’s worth noting, recently bought a terrarium for their gecko who they named ‘Albatross’.

Gwen is red faced, looking through the RV’s drawers the way a cat looks for their olive pit.

“Beeeeeeeeen! Give me back my life-saving diabetes pen!!!!!!!”

“What’s going on you two?”

Out of the pajama drawer, emerges Grey Matter.

“Well Mr. Tennyson, you’ll no doubt concur that the amount of relative space available to myself in this form is far greater than that in my humanoid shell. This therefore allows the fetid Gwen’s inequal hierarchy consisting of more square inches to be maintained whilst allowing myself the comfort which would otherwise be taken. I as such intend to use this pen to mark the space which I will henceforth be inhabiting!”

“Ben I can’t believe you’re so stupid you make grey matter dumb! That’s my diabetes pen I need incase I am unable to produce enough insulin you stupid clod!”

“I am of course more than well aware of this fact, femoid. In fact I intend-“

Grandpa Max at this point in time football kicks Grey Matter into the walls of the RV, causing a red flash which would also probably give people a seizure if they were seizure inclined.

“Grandpa Maaaaaaax, what was that for???”

At this point Max Tennyson departs onto Ben what can only be described properly by an orchestral play, he get on one knee, puts one hand on Ben’s shoulder (a hand which, although Max is not aware, will soon be violently crushed and subsequently replaced with a bionic alternative), and regales onto him the most heartfelt, thoughtful and well-spoken piece of motivational advice one could ever imagine. Truly, a sense of duty and responsibility, the kind that comes with great power, is practically injected into Ben (not literally however, only Kevin Levin literally injects things into himself, and these things are usually ketamine), this metaphorical injection is however, a slow burn, being in this case used to initially diffuse the EpiPen predicament, there is no doubt however that it will go on to shape Ben’s worldview of justice and life in general for decades to come.

Gwen didn’t hear any of it consciously she was too busy thinking about things she wanted to study later that day, because she’s the smart one.

By the time he is finished, the autopilot has taken them to their desired destination.

The coffee has been consumed, and yet still I wait for the very expensive helicarrier payed for by your tax dollars to make its way.

As I watch boob-porn on one of my numerous monitors, I realize that I forgot to equip SCOLIE with a medkit. Shit.


End file.
